UGLY
*This is an excerpt from an article I wrote for our office publication, there was an incident in the office that prompted me to post this. For those of you who doesn’t know yet, I work in the same office with my Mom, (and yes, we don’t look the same, matapang dugo ng mga Rosales e, hehehe!!!) anyway, there is new Director assigned at our department, she was doing her rounds, and when she came into our office, my boss introduced me as “ ’Yan anak yan ni Au” appaerently, she knew my mom, and she replied “ ah, sya? Ay naku, mas maganda nanay mo sau” I just laughed and said, “ay naku, tanggap ko na po un…” It was true, ok lang un, walang kaso.
Afternoon came, I was having a chat with the new employees in the commission, and one of them asked “ Yun bang kasabay mo lagi, ung sa 3rd Flr, ano un, tita mo?” I replied “ HINDI, mommy ko, alam ko na, hindi ko sya kamukha, mas maganda sya, mas maputi sya?” He answered, “hindi naman, malay ko mas kamukha mo daddy mo, dib a?”
What is it with this day? Wala lang, I was just pissed, on normal days this won’t get to me, but, I was feeling extra sensitive that afternoon, at napikon ako. Ano gusto nyang palabasin, pangit tatay ko??? I know, that’s not what he meant, pero basta nainis ako. I was browsing my files today, and I chanced upon this, so as a reminder to me, (hehehe!!) and to others out there, who feels the same, here goes:
Before, I used to gloss over my imperfections. Honestly, I was so self-conscious I developed a severe case of inferiority complex. I disliked everything about me. I was a very skinny child and I wasn’t exactly ‘blessed’ in certain areas. I grew up being reminded everyday by the people around me how beautiful my mom is, and that, I, didn’t inherit any of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom dearly, she’s the most beautiful, courageous woman I know, and I’m proud to be her daughter, but to be compared with such beauty, how does anyone fare? I struggled with my self-esteem. I’ve always felt that I was too fat dark. I’d often find myself wishing that I had fairer skin. If only I were a few more inches taller and bustier. My insecurities always get the better of me. They never seem to go away. The sadder thing is people can be harsh sometimes. They give criticisms at the drop of a hat. They pass judgment easily, with nary a thought on what you are feeling or going through.
That was then, believe me, it was a long and arduous process before I learned to accept and value my worth. It was a matter of coming to terms with who and what I am. I know now what I have and don’t have. I’ve reached this state in my life where I’m very contented with myself. I realized that I have gifts and talents of my own, that I am indeed unique and special. I found my own identity, and that I am not just my “mother’s daughter”, I found ME.
Loving ourselves starts with discovering our worth, and overcoming what stands in the way of doing so. When we humbly acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses, we no longer feel bad about who we are, and we no longer have to prove ourselves to others.
I read once that a truly beautiful woman is one who is in love with God and cannot help but love those around her. And I believe that once you have mastered how to cultivate peace and joy within, it will shine forth and what people will see in you is the gentle radiance that comes from inside.
Joyganda (I’m sorry, I just had to put that in), that’s how I would like people to call me (ask the people at the PIO office). Not that I suddenly turned conceited, but because I believe I am. I want to share a few lines from a song by Cristina Agulliera entitled “Beautiful”, I know this sounds cheesy, but nevertheless here it goes:
Every day is so wonderful
Now and then, I get insecure From all the pain, I’m so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
I am beautiful in every single way Yes, words can’t bring me down So don’t you bring me down today
I’m not gonna lie, there are days that my insecurities still get to me, but in the end, it matters not what other people say or what society dictates. It matters not if you have a pretty face, but that you have a kind, beautiful heart and a pure, gentle soul that counts.
Stay beautiful everyone! J
P.S.
This is my “Song for the moment. My comment: TRULILY!!!!”:
Ugly
When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren’t the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you’re more beautiful
And that’s the way they show that they wish
They had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous ‘coz
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I’m ugly then
So are you
So are you
There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn’t know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I’m ugly then
So are you
So are you
Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won’t be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be
"Coz people are all the same
(The same, the same)
And we only get judged by what we do
(What we do, yeah, yeah)
Personality reflects name
And if I’m ugly then
(Yeah, you)
So are you
So are you
